it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
