i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
