She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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