I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
