The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
