do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
