and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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