I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
