I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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