please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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