Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
