No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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