Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
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