who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
