She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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