Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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