He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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