That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
