i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
