All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
