you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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