don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
