I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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