Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
