JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Randomize
