Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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