I molested 6 butterflies tonight
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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