so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
