wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize
