By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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