Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
