i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
