scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
