careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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