i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Bring me that man meat
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
