I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize