So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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