spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
