I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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