The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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