I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
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