Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
