If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
