soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
