4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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