Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
