Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
did you just send me my own nude
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
