I think I am morally bankrupt
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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