Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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