I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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