It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
