Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
