i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
