I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize