Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
