ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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