Sponge bath it is.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
