there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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