Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize