She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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