What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
