Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
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