I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
