Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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