If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
