if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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