He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
3pm strippers are depressing
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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