Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
