I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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