jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
